


First Meeting

by deer_lovely_lily



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (vernon is an asshole and also high-key prejudiced), Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), in which I write a canon scene that jkr was too cowardly to write herself lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 08:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18807571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deer_lovely_lily/pseuds/deer_lovely_lily
Summary: Petunia & Vernon meet with Lily & James for the first time over dinner - things do not go to plan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on that one anecdote (from Pottermore, I think?) about the first time Petunia and Vernon met James, and I couldn't help myself from writing out that scene because it deserves more than just a tiny mention on Pottermore. Plus I had a lot of fun writing it. Enjoy!

Petunia wasn’t particularly thrilled to introduce Vernon to her sister. She had avoided it as long as possible and now she was sure her increasingly normal life was about to get extremely unordinary once more. The restaurant she had chosen for the occasion was a bland local one by the name of ‘The Knife and Fork’. Everything about it screamed normality; there were no flashy colours on the decorations, just simple wooden tables with low hanging lamps that cast a very formal glow over the diners. The food was perfectly average: none of it moving or throwing sparks in any way. It was the restaurant she and Vernon had visited on their second date. She sincerely hoped this atmosphere might stop Lily and her no doubt rotten boyfriend from trying anything that may even slightly resemble magic. She wanted none of that. Not even a god damned card trick.

“Let’s get this over with,” she muttered to Vernon, who grunted in response.

As soon as they entered the restaurant she immediately caught a flash of red hair, and Lily’s smiling face came into view. The boy next to her was taller by a head and wore glasses. He had a slender build, a golden brown complexion and the messiest hair Petunia had ever seen in her life. She bitterly tried to ignore the fact that he was also _extremely_ good looking. She looked away just before he turned to look at them. A very bored looking waiter appeared in front of them with beige menus under one arm and a white flannel hanging over the other. He had patches of long mousy hair, which had been precariously swept over the side of his head. Every few seconds a strand or two would fall over his face, and he would flick it back irately with the back of his hand.

“Welcome to ‘The Knife and Fork’; may I be of service to you today?” he recited monotonously.

“We’re fine, thank you” she replied. “Our… acquaintances are already at our table.”

“Very good, madam,” he replied, stifling a yawn. Quickly grabbing Vernon’s hand, she began to walk in their direction with as much nonchalance as she could muster.

“Petunia!”

Lily stood to meet them. She pulled her boyfriend up with her, clearly much to his surprise, as he had to grab onto her shoulder to avoid falling over. He also managed to nudge the back of an elderly lady’s chair in the process, and she ended up spilling some water on her table with shaking hands. He turned to gently apologise and passed her a napkin from his table to dry the spillage. Then he quickly straightened his posture and held out a hand to Petunia.

“You must be Petunia,” He gave a smile, to which Petunia stubbornly _did not_ return. She shook his hand briefly. “I’m James,” he said. Petunia linked her arm with Vernon’s and brought him forward a little.

“This is Vernon, my fiancé,” she said proudly. Vernon reluctantly shook James’ hand and vaguely nodded in Lily’s direction when she said hello.

“What country are you _from_ exactly?” he asked James, with a hint of displeasure. Petunia felt her cheeks grow hot as she saw the surprise in James’ face and the sudden flare of anger on Lily’s.

“Excuse me?” said James, taken aback. Lily took James’ hand firmly in hers.

“That was a very rude question,” she shot at Vernon, and Petunia felt her face grow even more uncomfortably warm. Lily and Vernon stared at each other in respective outrage. There was a moment’s silence, which was bluntly broken by James.

“I’m from England,” he said plainly. Petunia could hear the incredulousness in his reply; she got the feeling he was probably more offended than he was letting on. His tone also gave her the impression that this wasn’t the first time he’d been in this situation. He glanced at Lily who was still glaring daggers at Vernon and changed his tone _ever so slightly_. “But if you really want to know, my mum was born in India” he said slowly, looking back and forth between Lily and Vernon cautiously. Petunia was sure this was quite possibly the worst first encounter they could’ve hoped for.

“Shall we sit down?” She said this with a formal smile, trying to act as if nothing had happened in the hope that it would have the same effect on everyone else. Lily glowered at Vernon a little longer before grudgingly sitting back in her seat, her hand still entwined with James’. Petunia accidentally caught her eye and, in the way that sisters do, Lily gave her a questioning look conveying a message that she knew only Petunia would be able to read: _why are you with this man Tuney?_ Petunia ignored her sister’s pinched brows and pretended not to recognise the expression, instead turning to call for the wine list.

The rest of the evening, up until dessert, was… well, not particularly pleasant. But it was bearable. James seemed to find something very amusing about Vernon, especially when he was telling them about his employee of the month certificate, which he proudly pulled from his jacket to show everyone. Because of this (amongst other things), Petunia had her feelings towards James very set in stone; they were not positive in the slightest. Thankfully, both James and Lily had cooled down a bit from the beginning of the evening and were even occasionally sharing a joke or two with each other. Petunia felt a little pang in her chest every time they did, briefly picturing her and Vernon in the same comfortable ease Lily and James had with each other. But she quickly shook that from her mind, reminding herself how normal her life was with Vernon; she never wanted that to change.

When dessert arrived, Vernon was making it very clear to James that he didn’t approve of him at all.

“Of course, with my job I get enough pay to own a _number_ of cars,” he said, with a mouthful of crème brûlee. He looked distastefully at James and said, “What car do _you_ own?”, in a particularly patronising voice. Petunia couldn’t blame him for using this tone; Lily’s boyfriend wasn’t really dressed in the most formal of clothes and Petunia thought his hair looked like a bird’s nest it was so messy. James looked up from his pudding and then gave Lily a questioning look. Lily looked back at him with wide eyes and a humorous little tug on the corners of her mouth.

“He wants to know about your car,” she whispered, before biting back a smile.

“But, I don’t own a…” James frowned as he trailed off. Lily glanced at Vernon warily before answering.

“Why don’t you tell them about your broom?” she offered.

James’ eyes noticeably lit up at this and he turned to Vernon with a childish grin on his face. Then he jumped into a very fast and clearly passionate description:

“Oh it’s brilliant; it was used in the top Quidditch league this season actually, cost me a bloody _fortune_. And you should see the turn sequences on it! Hands down, the fastest I’ve ever seen; just-” He swerved his spoon into a nose dive like a child mimicking a plane, “Quick as lightning! And the bristles hardly ever need maintenance, just a few trims here and there every month-“

The more James went on the more confused Vernon looked, until eventually his brûlee fell off the hovering spoon still paused in front of his gaping mouth. Lily was trying very hard to control her giggles and after a couple of minutes of James’ rambling she gently put her hand on his arm. He stopped mid-sentence and looked at her innocently, before realisation dawned on his face.

“Am I talking too much?” he asked her in a low voice. Lily nodded with a pitying smile and patted his shoulder fondly. He turned to Petunia and Vernon again. “Sorry about that,” he said abashedly. “I get a bit too passionate when it comes to racing brooms.”

Vernon cleared his throat like he really _didn’t_ want to know about ‘racing brooms’ and finished the last of his pudding before trying to outwit James once more.

“Well, I wouldn’t expect you to own a car anyway,” He said and Petunia smiled wickedly at where her fiancé was going with this. “ _Wizards_ can’t possibly have a very good employment rate,”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” demanded Lily indignantly.

Vernon puffed his chest out, leaned towards Petunia and said in an audible murmur: “Living off employment benefits I expect.”

Lily opened her mouth in outrage but James put his hand on her knee and she unwillingly closed it again. He turned to Vernon with an expression that said he was going to ignore that insult and return the conversation with an overcompensating air of politeness.

“Actually, we do have a fairly good financial system” he said resting his arm on the table conversationally, “as good as the muggle one anyway. There’s a big bank in Diagon Alley called Gringotts where we keep all our fortunes; my parents and I have a volt there with all our gold saved in it.”

Vernon’s face went ruddy with anger.

_“Are you making fun of me?”_ he said crossly, hands shaking as he slammed down his spoon. James looked perplexed but Vernon decided not to give the boy the satisfaction of answering. “Come on Petunia” he stood dramatically and waited for Petunia to do the same.

Petunia gave James and Lily one last look of contempt before getting up to leave. Together she and Vernon stormed out of the restaurant.

 


	2. bonus scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help but add this in; the pair of them just started acting of their own accord lmao. enjoy! x

“We’ll just pay then shall we?” called James after Petunia and Vernon, who had just stomped angrily out of the restaurant.

A few people had turned in their seats to look at them; it was a sea of mildly interested, middle-aged couples in formal brown or grey muggle clothing. It wasn’t a pretty sight. When he turned back to Lily he realised she had her head in her hands.

“Lily?”

She lifted her head, her fingers lingering over her mouth, and James could suddenly see that there were tears brimming in her bright eyes. Her auburn hair fell around her face as she ducked her head down again. She looked so out of place in this bland restaurant, like a stray flower blooming in the middle of a desert.

“That went even worse than I could’ve imagined,” she said, tears softly rolling down her lightly freckled cheeks.

James felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. Lily barely ever cried in public but he knew how sensitive she was when it came to her sister. He gently gathered her into his arms and held her close, his chin resting on her head as she continued to sob.

“I’m so sorry,” he said softly into her hair. “I promise, I’ll try to fix it. I’ll make up with Vernon.”

She wound her arms around his waist and sniffed.

“No, I don’t blame you. That man is _completely_ vile,” she muffled into his chest. James agreed; Vernon Dursley was a nasty piece of work, if not hilariously stuck up about his employee commendations.

“Let’s go home,” he said finally, kissing her forehead and wiping her cheeks dry with his thumb. “I bet there’s a tub of ice cream I can nick from the freezer.”

Lily looked up at him with half a smile, one corner of her lips lifting slowly.

“Are you trying to cheer me up by stealing food from your parents for me?”

“Maybe,” he smirked. “Is it working?”

She stifled a laugh and peered up at him again.

“I love you,” she said, before leaning up and kissing him chastely on the lips. After she had pulled away, he frowned.

“Evans?”

“Yes?”

“Did you bring any money?”

Lily looked at him with wide eyes and bit her lip awkwardly.

“I left my purse,”

“Right.”

“Well, I knew it was going to end badly anyway,” she began, “but I was expecting _us_ to up and leave _them_ … You know, when they inevitably did something outrageously offensive.”

She looked at him with an anticipating face, her eyes wide, making her look as if she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not.

“Well, they didn’t disappoint,” he shrugged, as he stroked his temple thoughtfully, his other arm still resting around her waist.

“James Potter, your years of marauding and sneaking around Hogwarts are finally going to be put to the test,” she said in a voice that could be of either laughter or panic; he wasn’t quite sure which.

“Merlin Lily, I only have a couple of sickles and a packet of Droobles on me.”

There was a moment’s silence between them as they tried to figure out what to do.

“Okay,” said Lily, sitting up with a new air of confidence in her voice. “How about we leave what we have on the table, and then just scram and hope they don’t notice us?”

“Lily, that’s quite possibly the stupidest idea I’ve heard all day. Let’s do it,” said James, with a grin.

He emptied his pockets as Lily rummaged through her bag and together they placed what they had found onto the table. The result was 7 sickles, half a packet of cigarettes, a pack droobles, a gift voucher for a local muggle shop and a single marble.

“This is a pretty fucking feeble offering,” Lily muttered, eyeing the odd collection they had put together.

“It was a pretty fucking feeble dinner,” James replied, folding his arms. Lily stared at the pile for a couple more seconds.

“Hmm,” she picked up her bag again and shook it gently as she peered in. Then she reached into it and brought out a muggle biro pen. Leaning across James she grabbed his napkin and began to scribble something on it. When she was done she sat back and admired her handiwork. James looked down at the napkin.

“ _I owe you_?”

Lily glared pointedly at him.

“Have you got a better idea, Potter?” she demanded, crossing her arms. James considered this for a moment and came to a very straightforward conclusion.

“Nope.” He said simply.

She grinned mischievously at him and he tried to suppress his own smirk.

“So, what’s the plan?” He asked quietly, trying to act casual. “We’re not exactly in a position to disapparate.”

Lily looked around faux-absently, resting her chin on one hand whilst the other drummed lightly on the table.

“I think we’re going to have to do his muggle style,” she said eventually. James raised an eyebrow at her.

“And what does that involve?”

Lily smiled deviously at him.

“Climbing out the bathroom window of course.”

 

 


End file.
